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Xbox One Achievements – Unlock Your Humiliation

Xbox One Achievements – Unlock Your Humiliation

Dec 6, 2013

The Xbox One, has some cool features that sound great until they’re actually in your house.  Then those features become a very real, very creepy reality that Advertisers, Marketers and Big Brother are watching everything that you are doing in your home.

Xbox One kind of masks the ominousness of it by calling their market research in your house, “achievements”.  I first noticed it when I was watching Netflix or Hulu with my daughter and Xbox One notified me that I received an achievement for watching a show with a friend.

Well, here are 10 very possible achievements that anyone could unlock – but probably not without a little embarrassment involved after the fact: ***NOTE*** I have not unlocked any of these achievements personally.

Except, maybe #9

1) Need a Tissue (Watching the Playboy Channel)

2) Digging for Gold (Picking your nose)

3) Tramp Stamp (Xbox Catches a Glimpse of your youthful rebellious days)

4) Get a Haircut (Is it time for a haircut? Let Xbox one decide)

5) Bobbing for Apples (Personal time with your significant other)

6) Call 911  (Xbox One Doesn’t Recognize this person, should I call 911? ok that’s a good one)

7) Silent but Deadly (Nothing slips by Xbox One’s ears)

8) Get a Life Bro,   ( Watched all episodes of BattleStar Galatica in a 3 day span)

9) Weight Watchers (Would you like me to start up the fitness program fatty? Gain 10 pounds in a 3 week span)

10) Dafuq?  (Watch an episode of Honey BooBoo)

11) You Talking to Me? (Say anything bad about Microsoft – or scream XBOX GO HOME over 10 times in a row)

12) AYBABTU (Digitaly Sign any Microsoft Agreement)

If you guys can think of anymore, then please put them in the comments.

Cheers!

The Michael Whitlatch

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